I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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