john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
