just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
