I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
