why im i the only drunk person in the library?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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