why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
