Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Randomize
