In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
