I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
nutella sex= disaster
it's not cheating when I paid for it
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
