I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
