there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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