remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I cannot find my penis.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
