Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
