I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She's the barista slut.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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