We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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