Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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