im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
