just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i was born a porn star she said
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
