Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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