Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
