If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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