i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
she smelled like a LAN party
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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