she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
