And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
