what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
