in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize