dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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