guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
