Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
