You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
