My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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