There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
