Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
