I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What a dumb baby whore.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
its liver damage thursday
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
