wat bout pragnant strippers??
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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