The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
