Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
