Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
