Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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