you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
