I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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