Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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