All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
