thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize