I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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