We're facebook friends in real life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
