"it" just moved
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
