office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
