why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
