One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
